One Direction to Split After Making Two More Albums

Equal cries of rejoice and sadness will be heard throughout the internet today as Simon Cowell announced his thoughts on the future of the world's biggest boy band right now.

Speaking to the ever-classy, and ever-reliable Daily Star, he said

"Bands don't stay together forever. I think that they will make at least two more albums, and they're in the middle of one right now."

So using my amazing skills in mathematics, I deduce that they have just one more album to churn out after the completion of this one, before we may live in peace without the presence of a scarily-famous group whose fan base are all kinds of crazy. 

Although he denied that the split was due to member Harry Styles wanting to pursue a solo career, he revealed that he thought eventually all of 1D would head out on their own to make individual music. 

Rejoice throughout the land as Simon realises how shit 1D are. 

Split rumours are not uncommon, fuelled by the fact that Styles is often seen jetting off to preferred destination Los Angeles as oppose to staying with his bandmates or visiting family back home. The 20-year-old has always denied wanting to go solo, saying

"I still want to be touring with One Direction in ten years. I'll be doing it until I'm old and people are telling me to stop.''

Forget 10 years Hazza, you guys won't last two- perhaps Si Co has another bunch of pubescent squealers ready to be let loose upon the world. Allow for another generation of teenage girls to collapse into fits of hysteria.